Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
