so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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