A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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