I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize