yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
