I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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