Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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