I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i love accidental penises.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
