Don't you send me to vm
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
