Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
