Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize