uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nicole vs. Life
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
