What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
