just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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