Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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(818): View more from California

I'm like cupid

(1-818): View more from California

You're a whore with a bow and arrow

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(415): View more from California

I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

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(631): View more from New York

Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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(705): View more from Ontario

and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.

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(716): View more from New York

Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

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(303): View more from Colorado

My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.

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(302): View more from Delaware

wait i saw you last night?

(1-302): View more from Delaware

we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.

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