I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
