shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
