i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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