i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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