i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
