those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize