What a fucking waste of an outfit
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
