i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
