I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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