even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
