it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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