You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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