Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
organizing the empties. That sober.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
