I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
