hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
