Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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