Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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