1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
