Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
