hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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