thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
