Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
