You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
