alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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