Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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