summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
