I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
