Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
