I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Farmville is her only friend.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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