There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
