I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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