we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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