when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
