he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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