): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
