Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sorry my hands just texted you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
