you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You don't make any sense
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