I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
