you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
