Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
