thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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