Sry I called you an 8
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
