I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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