Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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