Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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