I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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