that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is Oprah even human
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
