Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
