Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
