Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
