The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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