is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
