so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
