You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
