would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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