It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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