On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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