I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
