She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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