I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
