I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
