spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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