Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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